I'll never do that again.

Thinking back to my college days, I remember one time when I was a freshman and some of my dormmates were talking about "jello shots".  I never heard of 'em.
"What are those," I asked.
"It's finger jello mixed with hard alcohol like Everclear," said some girl from the big city.
"Oh . . . . What's finger jello?"
"It's jello you can eat with your fingers, DUHHHHHH."
"Oh . . . . What's Everclear?"


Anyway, I'm eating this orange jello with my fingers and it's really good. It tastes just like orange jello and nothing more. I didn't have any dinner that night so I ate a lot of orange jello.
Then I saw that girl from the big city. The music was loud and the lights were low. I talked to her. She smiled and talked back. We talked for hours. We laughed and smiled.
Funny thing though as I look back, those hours were actually only about a minute. She had her back to me the whole time; and my face was stuck between the cushions of an old dirty couch. That whole conversation happened in my head.


I went upstairs to my room and lay down. An hour later I awoke to someone trying to set my bed on fire. But when I yelled at him he disappeared through a wall so I knew he wasn't real. That was a relief.
I got an urge and speed-walked to the bathroom and . . . shall we say . . . orally purged myself of all the orange jello. Mind you the seat was down and I can't say my aim was very good.  I felt bad. The bathroom was for the whole floor and I just made it disgusting.


Then under the toilet tank I noticed a good sized bottle of that aqua-blue toilet cleaner. You know, it's that stuff you put in the tank and it turns your water blue for 5000 flushes and smells really clean.  I didn't put it in the tank though. I just poured it all directly into the bowl. Mind you the seat was down and I can't say my aim was very good.


Anyway I went back to bed. And when I woke up at noon the next day, I went to the bathroom and looked in that stall.


It looked something like this. . . . .


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Funny thing though as I look back, I don't remember eating that onion ring . . .

--kb 

WELCOME

Welcome to my blog. Although I have been providing insights and opinions to Oregon Duck sports for over 25 years, this is the first time I've put them in true blog format. Trendsetter I am not.

The idea here is to have fun, but not just with Duck fans. Opponents will be abused, humiliated, laughed at and lied about, but are encouraged to participate nevertheless.

Another theme I hope to bring forth is that although sports should be a way to blow off steam and provide relief from the other 99% of life, I enjoy weaving life events through my Oregon Ducks world.

This website will no doubt go through some changes over time. But I know one thing that must remain the same. Everything I have done and will do only adds up to 51% of the total effort of making this blog work. The remaining 49% comes from you, the reader. The obvious problem in the past when I was just sending out newsletter-style emails was that I was the only one able to enjoy the replies of my readers. Now all of you can share in the wonderful feedback I've received over the years.

My writings are not meant to bring exclusive or breaking news. That is nearly impossible in this day and age. I am the guy who reads the sports section after you and says, "Did you read this article? Here's what I think . . . ."

So get the news first if you like, then come to my site and talk about it.

Now let's have some fun.

GO DUCKS

--Killer Bee

Starting the season with a bunch of BS

[ Wonderful. Nothing starts off the season better than a good ol' S.I. cover curse. Notice the new uni's? Gone are the diamond plates. I had to trade in my two year-old pickup with the diamond plate stickers and mud flaps and start over with wings.

Below is an article from the Oregonian. Comments by me are between brackets and in green like this.

Oh and by the way, Boise State -- Oregon's first opponent -- got my highest respect before last season when they came to Eugene. That was when one of their goons lowered his head, took two steps into Masoli's chin and knock him out of the game. Henceforth, I will refer to that team as B.S.]

UO football: Small crowd watches secretive Ducks scrimmage
Posted by John Hunt, The Oregonian August 25, 2009 22:10PM
Categories: Football

EUGENE -- Nine days before their season opener at Boise State, the Oregon Ducks played their final scrimmage Tuesday night before a crowd of about six at Autzen Stadium.
In attendance were Nike co-founder Phil Knight and a few friends. They saw the Ducks' "March to Victory," a parade from the Duck Shop at the Moshofsky Center into the stadium. There, the Ducks held a scrimmage that featured an improved Jeremiah Masoli and another long touchdown run by LaMichael James. [LaMichael James is a small, squirty Quiz Rogers type of RB who's supposed to make us forget all about LaGarrette Blount . . . until the next down when Masoli hands off to LaGarrette Blount.]
Masoli, who struggled in Oregon's other scrimmage, was 9 of 19 for 111 yards, one touchdown and one interception. The UO official keeping the stats in the secretive scrimmage said four of those passes were dropped.
"I feel like we're ready to play tomorrow," said Masoli, whose first pass went for a 49-yard touchdown to Jeff Maehl.
D.J. Davis led the receivers with six catches for 60 yards. Tyrece Gaines had three for 23, including a nine-yard touchdown catch. Kelly said he will probably operate with a rotation of five receivers at Boise State: Maehl, Davis, Lavasier Tuinei, Jamere Holland and Garrett Embry.
Because of injuries and inexperience, the receiver position was clouded heading into this week, but that's about the only area of great uncertainty. Things have changed a bit in the defensive backfield, though.
Talmadge Jackson, who moved from cornerback to rover this summer and fall, has been moved back to corner. So he and Willie Glasper will split time at the corner opposite Walter Thurmond. T.J. Ward will start at free safety, and Marvin Johnson and Javes Lewis will split time at rover.
Morgan Flint is the kicker, although he missed a 27-yard try Tuesday night. Freshman Mike Bowlin was 2 of 2, from 35 and 27 yards. Rob Beard hit a 28-yarder and had a 26-yard attempt blocked.
Freshman Jackson Rice may have won the punting job, outkicking Tim Taylor. Rice had punts of 45, 49 and 55 yards.
On defense, linebacker Bryson Littlejohn made a case for more playing time, with four tackles, a sack and a one-handed interception. Defensive lineman Zac Clark did, too, with five tackles, including three for loss.
James was the leading rusher of the scrimmage, with seven carries for 58 yards, including a 26-yard touchdown. LeGarrette Blount's day was a short one, with four quick carries for 21 yards. Kenjon Barner rushed eight times for 52 yards and -- as in the previous scrimmage -- the running back/defensive back did not play any defense.
Nate Costa, who shined in the last scrimmage, was 16 of 35 for 141 yards, one touchdown and two interceptions and three drops. He also had two touchdown passes nullified by penalty.
The Ducks seemed to come out of the scrimmage fairly unscathed, although backup offensive lineman Charlie Carmichael left on a cart with an injury to his left leg.
Defensive tackle Simi Toeaina is back after missing time with a broken left thumb. Toeaina got his cast off and stitches out Monday and will play with a brace. Coach Chip Kelly said defensive end Terrell Turner had a "great, great camp."
Kelly, after leading the postgame procession of players into the locker room, said he was pleased with what he saw. Asked what was still needed before the Sept. 3 game on the blue turf in Boise, Kelly said, "We need about eight days."
The Ducks will participate in their team-building day known as the "O Games" today. The Ducks will take Friday off before prepping in earnest on Saturday.
"We don't have to focus on the Oregon offense anymore," linebacker Casey Matthews said. "Now we focus on Boise, which is great."
John Hunt: 503-294-7643; johnhunt@news.oregonian.com

[ So how is Coach Kelly doing? Is he reaching his players? Is he a good communicator? I saw an amateur film once of one of Bellotti's practices several years ago. What struck me was the extreme organization and attention to detail in the five or six drills his assistants were simultaneously executing all over the field. Not one second was wasted. Does Kelly work in that same way? The following excerpt from Eugene's Register Guard may answer that question. . . .]

Tight-end Ed Dickson comments on Kelly's practice style. R-G photo.

From the R-G, Tuesday, August 25th.

The Ducks concluded camp one practice under the limit set by the NCAA. Some schedules had the team working out twice Monday, but Kelly said he determined from the start that he wanted to practice his pregame routine.
He wasn’t concerned with leaving a day of practice unused.
“I want fresh legs (for the scrimmage),” Kelly said. “Guys are competing for jobs; are you seeing them to the best of their abilities when you’re making your final decisions?
“We charted every day, our number of reps. Our reps are up big-time (from years past). We’ve gotten enough reps even though we’re one practice short, because of the pace and tempo we play at.” [That being the 'no-huddle' pace that wears down other opponents.]
Fifth-year senior tight end Ed Dickson judged this training camp a success in part due to that pace.
“Guys are out there working hard,” Dickson said. “It’s the mentality of the coaches keeping everybody focused. We do situations every day, game situations, real situations where we’ve got to fight. Coach Kelly is very good at getting us focused on what we’re going to see in a game.”

[If any of this impresses you, GREAT! Unfortunately none of this impresses BS. They practice and play focused like a team looking for a championship. More on them later. --kb]